I salute you, tabloid subscriber person.

As many of us have seen just about everytime we go anywhere, tabloids are everywhere. These media geniuses have survived and thrived since the days of yellow journalism and muckracking. Today I went to a gas station and caught a glimpse of the tabloids and read the usual headlines. There is always one headline about some celebrity doing something (or someone). This made me wonder about the kind of people who actually subscribe to these magazines. I say subscribe because it dawned on me that I would be more embarrassed to buy it in public than receive it in the mail (it also takes less effort to get it out of your mailbox).

I couldn't help but try and imagine the type of person who would have such an interest in a tabloid subscription. I'm going to go ahead and throw out some adjectives/characteristics and you guys can either add to the list, or debate them.

Overweight, lonely, has many cats, lives in a hot climate, lives in a trailer, wears a one piece garment of some type (maybe a jumper, or one piece dress), predominately female, might have a small dog of some type, watches Oprah everyday, thinks Jerry Springer should be President, thinks Judge Judy should be on the Supreme Court, often calls Ms. Cleo, wears large bifocal glasses, eats a bowl of Special K with a cup of sugar and chocolate syrup, thinks perfume is best worn on every inch of their body, at least at one point had a mullet, shops solely at the monster that is Wal-Mart, has an entire drawer (in their kitchen and work desk) devoted to chocolate, puts the trash bags by the front door instead of taking them to the dumpster, thinks day time TV is better than prime time TV, their highlight of the day is when they can flip between Entertainment Tonight and Access, and finally drinks slimfast while eating a bucket of fried chicken because the label says you can drink it with anything.