Ah the Sun......

Just about everyday after I get off work I take a little time to lay out in the sun (usually after my gym time). Its pretty funny when you think about it. I can be such a redneck. Ok, picture this, a white man sitting/laying in the back bed of his truck with a pillow and a horrible farmers tan trying to even out the ridiculous contrasts of color.

The funny thing is I never knew how relaxing it really is. Usually I look in my cell phone and find someone to call. Lately it has been a whole lot of people I haven't talked to in a long time. It has been great reconnecting with people. This routine of mine has been going on for a couple of weeks and to my astonishment and first sunburn, I'm evening out! This white boy is definitely a darker shade of white. Before you reply with something like, "You'll get skin cancer!" trust in the fact that there are worse things in the world I would have a more likely chance of dying from.

If you plan on trying it out for yourself I recommend you put on a little Bob Marley, or Jack Johnson. If neither one of those are available your cell phone is a great alternative, plus keeping in contact with friends is always a good idea. Enjoy the sun.

LT

The mosquito's of Death!!!!!

It all began with a group of friends having a friendly barbecue on the back of there pickup truck around 7:30pm. Dusk was approaching and the smell of fresh beef was in the air. Seven heartbeats in a remote location provided way too much temptation for these raiders of the sky. As everybody was enjoying their food, drink and each other's company the quite storm of death began.

From the sky these foul creatures came attacking without mercy, or remorse. They hovered around each target taking their fill of blood, but they fought back! Amongst the endless terrifying screams and slapping noises someone shouted, "Ah ha, Take that!" but the attack didn't stop regardless of the casualties the small terrors sustained. The seven started to collect the dead mosquito bodies in a cup to mark as a warning sign to the rest, but they still kept coming. Numbers, the endless amount of warriors they had was staggering. The seven didn't know what else to do, but abandon this fight. Everything was loaded up safely into the truck and the tires skidded on the hard dirt trail. The mosquito's had won, but from this day on the war will continue!

This was a true story that recently happend, dramatically written of course for your pleasure. Sorry, I'm kind of bored.

This Week's Salute

This week I would like to salute the individual that created the Internet. He (or she, to prove that I'm not sexist) has expanded my horizons and means of communication. The ability to receive information quickly and from a multitude of sources has changed our society forever. If it was Al Gore, he should receive a golden keyboard, or at least a cheasy placque. Thank you Internet creator person for keeping me entertained as well as informed.

LT

Vince is the winner!!!!!!!!!

Yes, that's right folks Vince has won my pointless contest with his caption, "Bring me my diapers, there is a great disturbance in the Force." Due to overwhelming participation I will consider doing this again. Than you Mr. Bass for being the only other person besides myself to write something. It was a close race between the two of you.



For this entry I'm posting this picture meant for all of you to create your own caption. Yes I stole this idea from a friend. However, good ideas need to be spread so here it is. Have fun with this one.

LT

Stupidity is inherent in humans

Every single day I witness, or hear about an act of stupidity. What gets me the most is when you give someone specific instructions to do something and they interpret that as "blah, blah, blah, I'm going to do it my way." Usually I just sit back and watch them do it their way and mess up. We humans learn better when we base our actions on experience. For example Junior knows the stove is hot because he already burned his fucking finger on it.

Granted I am not setting myself apart from the human species. I am merely making a point that we far to often ignore stupidity is inherent in humans. I've told my friends a million times to have a desingated driver. I've told them even after their first DUI/DWI. I've sat back and watched my friends date people (as they watched me) that treated them like garbage and they would keep going back to them. I have recently been carried out of a bar because I apparently felt I could drink anything and everything (not the first time either).

It does seem that a lot of the time stupid behavior is performed for mere enjoyment. That's why when I see this behavior I just sit back and relax and enjoy the show. My friends in Austin know exactly what I'm talking about (darth mahl trophy/mega man trophy). Fireworks come to mind when I think of stupid behavior. I know I've almost burned my hand off because I was being stupid with fireworks.

Supposedly we learn from our mistakes. Supposedly we only watch our friends date the wrong person a few times. Hopefully our friends, or those around us accept our advice, or at least commentary on the stupid situations that arise. However, I must maintain my position that regardless of what we (the observers) try to do, human's will ultimately make up their own damn minds and stupid decisions will follow. So sit back and enjoy the show.

LT

Coffee, mmmmmmmm, Coffee.........

Each morning I wake up I follow a routine just as so many people in this world do. Lately I've noticed some of the little things I do out of this routine. Usually around 7am I'm arriving at work and usually check email. Somewhere between then and 8am I reach out for my morning addiction, a cup of coffee.

I get up and head on over to the break room where I'm joined by my coworkers and wait for the machine to finish doing its magic. As I'm standing there I begin to realize how much like rats in a scientific experiment we are. You know, the kind where the rats all hang around the food machine that drops a food pellet when the they press a button. The thought catches me, but it is more than that because I further realize how it is our addiction to this substance that has brought upon this gathering. Addiction, strong word huh? The sad thing is this isn't a rare event in our society. It happens in offices all over the world, which is why I believe it is important enough for me to make a comment and why I believe you should feel free to also.

Today our intern made the coffee. Today we learned the intern can't make coffee and therefore never will again. However, I believe she was smart, if she made it well, we'd ask her to make it everyday. Good for her. I've been at the bottom of the food chain and remember those little tricks.

Remember folks

Coffee=Caffeine
Caffeine=Addiction
Addiction=Happiness!

Thank you my friends

Yesterday was my birthday and last night my coworkers took me out. I have never had people buy me so many drinks at once. I did make the mistake of saying, "I'm from Texas damit, I'll drink anything you put in front of me." Famous last words as they physically carried me out of the bar because I had lost the ability to walk, while allowing me to yell "I can drink more damit, I'm LT bitches! Let me back in I can drink more!" You are all good hearted people and I thank you for the drinks, putting up with me while drunk and overall your friendship.

For those of you who couldn't be there this time, no worries, you have all been there for me in the past and for that I thank you too. Your LT was a champ last night. I drank to the standards of my brothers and then some. You were all missed. I lost count of my shots after 15 rolled around, well actually I kind of lost count of everything after that.

I had a great birthday, all of you bastards rule, thanks,

LT

The Face that Doesn't Lie

I was at the bar a couple of weeks ago and we decided to try a pitcher of something we haven't had before. We looked at what was on tap and decided we'd go with "Mac & Jacks African Amber Ale." We had already been drinking our fair share number of Miller Lite Pitchers and were feeling a little bit toasty, so we each poured a glass of this new Amber Ale and continued with our drinking game. The first person to try it was sitting directly across from me and will remain anonymous, but the face he made was unmistakable. It looked like he had just had a mouthful of baboon shit mixed with straight ass juice from a lion. From that moment on I wasn't sure whether, or not I should take a drink, but just like the person who takes a deep breath in when somebody says they farted to find out if it stinks, I tried it. I ended up making the exact face as my padre. The fun didn't stop there however, our other partner in crime had to have his taste test. The exact same face followed.

We set the pitcher aside and continued playing until a few other people joined us. The asked if they could try it and we were too drunk to inform them of the trouble they were heading into. The ass face came out as they took a huge gulp. We then stood up, pointed, and laughed like drunken buffoons. It was quite an experience that I will hopefully never relive.

rating scale:

Name: 5/10
Appearance: 7/10
Taste: -1/10
Entertainment: 10/10

Speed UP!!!!!!!!!!!

This post is dedicated to all those weak ass drivers who don't know how to accelerate getting on the highway. I'm fucking sick of it! When you enter a road where the speed limit is 60mph and you have 200 yards to reach that speed, don't be a wuss and go 45mph while begging people to let you on the highway. Instead, step up to the plate, grow a pair and PUSH DOWN HARDER ON THE PEDAL! I realize this is a small petty thing to be commenting on, but it is just one of my petpeves and it is something that needed to be said. Feel free to tell me if I'm just anal, or crazy.

My addiction to The West Wing

It is true, everyday after I get off work I spend at least two hours of my life watching my season two DVD set of The West Wing. The funny thing is I'm not a Democrat, nor do I ever plan on being one. I could say the same thing about being a Republican, but I do have more tendencies to lean to the right. However, I am dead set on remaining somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, this show is simply amazing. I find myself helplessly feeling more "patriotic" with every episode. The steady flow of dialogue shifts quickly from topic to topic and it is easy to miss something, but never fear, whatever is missed is explained again somewhere down the line.

The characters are all neurotic, emotional and witty. Not to mention extremely liberal, but I take it in strides and sit back with a protein bar and focus on the many debates between both sides on the issues at hand. I have to thank my boy Adrian Macias for this addiction, oh and my employer. If it weren't for Adrian letting me borrow the first season and my employer giving me more money than I know what to do with I wouldn't have anything to write about.

With this blog I expect people to simply say "dude, get a life," either that or reply with some show addiction of their own. I know a lot of you have them. If not then I give you all the freedom to make jokes at my expense. enjoy.

LT

People who don't live in Texas hate Texas and they have NO REASON TO.

For those of you who have rarely left the greatest state in the union, you might have witnessed the extreme hatred of Texas. Doing what I do for a living I have the opportunity to work with people from all over the greatest country in the world. Everybody has opinions, but for some strange reason they all share the same one about Texas. I can't tell you how many times I've had some one say "The only thing in Texas is steers and queers." First of all before you speak, think. Secondly, before you think realize that you are a punk ass bitch who doesn't have the right to make such a comment in my glorius presence. The next person to say this is getting a Texas sized boot up their ass! I've had it. God Bless Texas! Hook'em horns!

dude why?

so how many times do you look at what's going on in the news and around you and just ask yourself, dude why? it seems to me i can find at least one thing a day that puts me on the edge. today is no exception. the topic for this entry is the murdering of a teenager for his ipod.

ipod's are amazing, they're great. i even have a ipod shuffle and i love it, but how is it possible to kill another human being for one. i can remember when i was a kid i heard about people being shot for their nike air jordans, or reebok pumps ( http://sneakers.pair.com/c-bad.htm) and just wondering if anybody was going to pick a fight with me for my L.A. Gear pumps. i now realize i was poor and nobody wanted my shoes, but still it got my attention.

what i would do for 2 minutes to beat the shit out of these stupid kids. i men honestly this type of stupidity deserves an ass whooping.